Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
Randomize
