I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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