Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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