Barsexuality is the new black.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
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