Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
