This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
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