is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Randomize
