He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm always down for nudity.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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