drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Are we in a gay sports bar?
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
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