Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
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