I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
