Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
