the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
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