why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
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