i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Some Animals Are Total Jerks (10+ pics)
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.