So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
