Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
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