if you like me you must not know who I am
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Randomize
