glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
