I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
