I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
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I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
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Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
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