Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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