I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Randomize
