The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
