You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Randomize