Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
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