I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize