You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
