Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
