i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
