Well douche your snatch and let's go!
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
You've changed since you got that strap on
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
