I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
