i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
