Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
no, he came in my armpit
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
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