took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"