i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
