thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
i believe in u and ur pee
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
