I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
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