he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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