Midget sex pt 2 tonight
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
