sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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