forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
Randomize
