you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
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