how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize
