I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize