my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
