i need an iv and a liver transplant
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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