i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
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my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
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We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security