you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
