I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
