your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
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sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
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I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?