it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
