I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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