Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
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She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
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they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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