It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
