I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
