6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
Randomize
