You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
