8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
