sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Randomize