I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
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I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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