maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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