stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
