what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
